Island girl (karmaa1974) wrote in futureeducators,
Island girl

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I am sad today

I know this post dont belong here, but I just want to vent. So please dont be mean,lol...

My brother who never wanted to stay in his kids life had gotten into trouble with the law. He is now incarcerated. His ex wife is having a real hard time being a single mom, and decided to neglect her chhildren. The children services has taken her 3 boys away  they are 6,4 and 2. Two of them my nephews. One of the 6 yr old  was place with a relative of  my brother's ex wife, and the other two was placed into a childrens home. No one from my side of the family was willing to have the kids live with them. I could have taken them in if I was not stuck raising my other sister's twin 3 yr old girls, I so wish I can do it, but I know I would end up hurting myself, and  these chilldren in the process, because I work, and I go to school, so its hard enough. I asked the case worker for permission to visit my nephew who was placed in the childrens home, and was able to see him. He was v ery happy to see me. But then, his spirit looked as if it had been broken, I mean, when i was dropping him off, he just looked sad. i  felt so bad for him, because he probably dont even know whats going on. I cried and cried until I got home, and I am crying now as I write this. I asked God why does life had to be like this, why does he has to go through this. When I was a kid, I always use to pray to God that nothing happened to my mom, because I didnt want to know what it really felt like, to have no on who really cared about me. And that memory of my childhood came back, and I cried for both boys. I want to open my heart now to kids, and I really want to make a difference in a child's life. I think today has changed my life forever. I saw many kids in the home, black, white, hispanics, and it broke my heart, that people will abuse and neglect children. Well, thats all I have to say. I am very sad today. I have never been this sad since my mom's passing.

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